Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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