So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
