I forgot how hot balto sounded
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
