Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
