oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
What a dumb baby whore.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize