dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize