Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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