I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize