I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize