Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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