Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
