I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
