Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
