But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
