Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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