I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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