It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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