i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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