Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
