I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
