if you like me you must not know who I am
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
