her vagine was all disorganized.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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