just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize