Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I understand Curling. That high.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
