Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
