I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
