I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
