Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize
