we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize