a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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