so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
