You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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