maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
