Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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