Don't worry. I has chaperone.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
