i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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