Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
