I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
