i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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