areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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