I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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