very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
