Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
