Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize