hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Let's paint friendship bongs
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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