i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
