Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
