what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize