My brain says no but my pants say off.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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