Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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