is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I supernannyed him into submission
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
