Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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