The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
