i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
