nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
