just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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