I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize