You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize
