omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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