so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Every concussion has its silver lining
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
