Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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