i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
