I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
