He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
COCAINE IS GR8
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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