I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
