...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
