I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
