WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
