At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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